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10 Do's & 10 Don'ts For Men in A Divorce

can tell you from experience that when word gets out that you are battling a divorce, people come out of the woodwork with all sorts of advice. Some of it may be genuine, but must of it is just crap. The problem is how are you supposed to know what exactly needs to be done in order to protect your assets and your family. Like it or not, the woman that you married is not the same woman that you are divorcing. There is a sort of "survival mode" that kicks in and they become a completely different person. A person who is hell bent on getting everything she can, and I guarantee that they have an attorney that promises to get it for her. So almost immediately you, as the man in the divorce, have to kick it into defensive mode as fast as you can.

This is why I have put together a series of Do's and Don'ts that you can put some faith in. This is highly researched information. Information that you can find in places all over the internet. Later on, I will show you some of the best resources that I have come across during my ordeal.

First off there are the Do's...

1) Close joint accounts and credit cards

2) Try for a reasonable out of court settlement

3) Make sure your children (if any) know that you are not divorcing them

4) Keep good records of all information pertinent to the divorce

5) Do tons of research when it comes to finding a good divorce attorney

6) Attend all court dates, even if your attorney says that you don't have to be there!

7) Keep a good tab on your attorney's fees and try to estimate your wife's fees

8) Fight with everything you got to keep your kids from having to appear in court!

9) Understand that you are going through one hell of a test here...the stress and anxiety is completely normal. (In fact, divorced men are more likely to give in to life's problems and unfortunately can lead to other more serious problems)

10) Always honor your agreement (even if you ex violates it)...this is very important if you end up have to go back in front of the judge.

These Don'ts are just as important...

1) Move from the house unless you are ordered to by the courts.

2) Ever try to turn your kids against their mother

3) Be afraid to ask your lawyer all the questions you want, and dump her if he/she is not working for you!

4) Ever deal with your wife and her lawyer unless your lawyer is present

5) Let anger take over during any part of the proceedings!!

6) Sign anything unless you understand every single word

7) Agree to any alimony unless there are exceptional circumstances

8) Shut yourself off from friends and family... An ongoing social life is very important.

9) Stop paying child support even if your ex is denying you time with your children. This is something that should be dealt with in court!

10) Forget that you, as a husband and father, have rights too!!!

Unfortunately, this doesn't cover everything. There is no article that could possibly do that. Every point that I have made has greater details that you need to find out about. Consider the issue of finding a good attorney, which is often much harder that you would think. It is possibly the most important decision you make, but still the hardest one.

I have been through a rather nasty divorce myself. And my former wife and her over-zealous lawyer tried to take everything that I had. Luckily, I researched the issue, shelled out a couple bucks for some expert advice (nothing compared to what I payed in lawyers fees!), and found a good attorney. Luckily, I was able to get out of it with minimal damage. I even got to keep my house.

The best advice that I can give to you is don't ever give in. Do your homework! Find a really good attorney, and don't do anything foolish! You can go to my site on Men's Divorce Strategies, and find out more information on the resources that I have used. Good luck to you and remember this doesn't have to be the end of your life!
About the Author

Christoph Hickory "A highly opinionated guy with many life experiences, and a whole lot to say!"

Resource list for MEN in the Midst of a Divorce